J's in the City

Well, we've been here for a little less than three days and so much has happened. And changed. Wow, my life is going to be vastly different here. Really our lives will be different but I am the one who seems most affected by everything. Also, I am the one who blogs about it. So...my life it is. 

Change #1: Did you know you have to carry what you buy? From any place you buy it? If you trek 20 minutes to your nearest Trader Joe's, you have to account for your biceps. And mine are small.

Exhibit A: Grocery shopping.

Change #2: I am a criminal. I am now am accomplice to a hit and run...so, yeah, basically a criminal. Okay, it's didn't happen to US but a couple named Naimie and Nason. They look just like us, but more dystopic. You see, Nason was driving their moving van and, after ripping off two parking tickets from the windshield he acquired at 5:00 that morning (for two charges Naimie unsuccessfully lost her shit contested), he proceeded to drive the wrong way down a one-way street. Once righted, he may have side swiped someone's mirror while trying to avoid an oversized mailtruck. Don't worry - he fixed it and we are sure that person has learned their lesson so that future efforts will yield conforming to the cardinal adjusted side mirrors rule. ALL OF THE OTHER CARS TURNED THEIR MIRRORS INWARD. In a way, they are lucky they still have a side mirror. In a way, we performed an act of kindness and philanthropy. I will not be adding a picture of this because I don't know Naimie and Nason personally.

Change #3: We live in a fourth floor walk-up. Translation: I am going to have a butt of steal. And calves. And everything. I am going to be rock solid. Except that we can't stop eating. Everything is delicious and I haven't even had a bagel yet. Pizza, Chinese, local diner, check! I am proud to report I WALKED around the corner (maybe 150 steps) to procure this delicious feast. For $20. 

Panda Delight's finest

So, even though I climb at least 21 flights of stairs per day and walk everywhere, I may become an Oompa Loompa. Ultimately I've decided this is fine because winter is approachin'. I am preparing for hibernation.

Speaking of our apartment, did you know I am marrying a "maximizer"? Jenn Leach knows which is why she and Jason are kindred spirits. If this term is unfamiliar to you, allow the Happiness Project to elucidate: "Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. So even if they see a bicycle or a photographer that would seem to meet their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, so they know they’re making the best possible choice." Translation: we must overturn EVERY stone before selecting our stone. Our bedframe. Our desk. Our armoire. Guess how many laps we hoofed around IKEA? I don't have that many fingers and toes, so I lost count. Nonetheless, five hours later we emerged with a lot of things. This surprised even us. Thanks Jane (ahem, Dr. Vogler!) and Kevin for your contribution to the pile!

Our impressive IKEA loot

It's very fortunate our furniture came in boxes because there is simply no way possible it would find its way to our apartment. I almost left it on our stoop once it was unloaded from the truck, but Jason is a superhero of sorts. He incredible hulked it upstairs. Three narrow flights. I learned I make an excellent cheerleader. I have pretty much medaled in it since our move.

Me pestering Jason as
he does something productive

That's pretty much the haps. Jason was kind enough to tell me about the woman he saw get robbed an hour after he got home tonight from returning Nason's truck. Perfect. I am so thankful I am a yellow belt plus one stripe in karate. I can still count to five in Korean. I can still probably punch someone too.

Stay tuned for future misadventures of J's in the City. In two weeks, we'll have J's plus an A. Watch out world!