All She Wants To Do Is Dance: June 2012

Spending 23/23 years of life in one place can really put a damper on your impressions of it. As such, I spent the last decade hating south Florida. I can't really explain why and I suppose if you wanted to psychoanalyze me a few times, you'd uncover something interesting. Then again, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

In any event, I find myself in sunny (read: incredibly rainy) south Florida, caring for my mom who is recovering from hip replacement surgery. In the days before her surgery, we tried to squeeze in as much fun as five people packed into a Honda Pilot can. Jason has been here a few times, but it's always been a sprint through a weekend and we're on a plane back home. This time I really focused on showing Jason some of what I appreciate about my hometown; I have dubbed these experiences "my south Florida". The thing is - if you aren't careful, you could end up with someone else's south Florida and wake up in a spray-tanned fog of vodka, diet pills, and herpes. I wouldn't recommend it.

In an effort to extend my south Florida to Jason, something kind of magical happened. I think it's akin to a couple celebrating 11 years of marriage in a disappointing, dingy timeshare borrowed from their neighbors with four kids in tow, three of whom have colds...somewhere among the muck and chaos, the couple looks around and realizes they are completely happy.

As I chauffeured Jason from place to place, I felt a renewed sense of wonder: "my gosh, that really is beautiful" and "hey, this is kind of fun" and so forth. We hit many of my hot spots and it's left me wondering if I should add south Florida back to the list of places we could live once we're grown-up scholars. Maybe. The beach here really is amazing and I completely took the ten minutes distance from it for granted my entire life. Also, don't let my dad see this because he has been lobbying hard for us to return home, as evidenced by the "Congrats, Dr. Krause, now move back home" message attached to my graduation bouquet.

Here is some additional (and unrelated) wisdom derived from this trip:

1. Do not order a skinny pina colada. Yes, this is deserving of spot #1 on my list.

2. Florida summer weather > Austin summer weather but Austin fashion > Florida fashion

3. GPS everything. Do not rely on my sense of direction to get anywhere because it is broken.

4. Fake ducks sit in canals for no reason.

5. No one understands the delight of a Mexican martini in south Florida and they never will. Stop trying to explain what it is.

6. With the right straighter, I can have a C- hair day which blows past FL hair experiences out of the water (p > .05).

7. South Florida driving is akin to the wild, wild West - everyone should don a 10 gallon hat and chaps whilst driving and admit it as they cut you off across four lanes of traffic and run a red light.

8. If the restaurant is in downtown Fort Lauderdale (or Miami), it thinks it is a club and will play music so loud you become horse from screaming through sips of your $20 margarita and require another margarita just to soothe your cords.

9. JAIMIE, WEAR FREAKING SUNBLOCK AND STOP BEING AN IDIOT. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO SKIN CANCER, NO MATTER HOW OLIVE YOU BELIEVE YOUR UNDERTONES MIGHT BE. THEY ARE JUST THAT - UNDERTONES.

10. It costs a lot to look that cheap. Don't succumb to whatever fashion trend has you in acid washed cut-offs and a Zack Morris tank top. Just don't.

11. Palm trees in south Florida are like glitter in an elementary art classroom. It's an epidemic and sometimes seeing a palm tree in front of a Walgreens is weird.

The end! I will leave you with one of my favorite pics from the save the date photo session. Way to go, Ash!