Eyes Playing Tricks

So I'm in Boston visiting my family on my Grammie's 96th birthday weekend. If you know anything about Boston, The Big Dig will be familiar to you. To the occasional Beantown visitor, however, it's easy to forget this inconvenience of epic proportions. Then, imagine my surprise when I went to select an ice cream flavor for the family to enjoy after dinner. I had to read the label three times until it finally made sense. Please excuse me while I retrieve my brain from the gutter.

Tomboy to Tinker(Belle)

I had the wonderful privilege of attending one of the most magical weddings ever a few weeks ago in Austin, TX. Congrats Russ and Santi! You two really do emanate such bliss together.

Just look at these handsome chaps in love

Santi, ever the fashionisto, carefully selected our wedding wardrobe, each sartorial detail complimenting the next in a way that can only be described as: "Belle Goes to Vegas". To make a Disney princess out of a girl who refused to wear a dress until 22 you need:

• One trumped, corseted, satin, canary yellow frock (this is the style - make it yellow with your mind)
• Sparkly chandelier earrings and matching necklace
• Carrie Underwood-inspired hair and make-up
• Culminating in: this look
• (Forgive me, I have recently fallen for bullets.)

Never mind I neither possess Carrie's trademark lustrous locks nor do I have hips that don't lie (suck it, double negative); in fact, they tell such tales I feared this dress would have me indicted for perjury. Nonetheless, I manned up, consumed a few less carbs, and traded tonic for club soda to accompany the frequent occasional cocktail. It worked and I shimmed my way into this bad boy.

Here's the transformation, from Tomboy to Tink.

Baseline: I think I was on the losing end of a sloshball (think drunken kickball) game here

Step 1: Blow dry and straighten naturally curly hair and form into defined ringlets

Step 2: Attempt to create a bump it sans tool with half a can of hair spray and 300 bobby pins

Step 3: Slather on enough make-up to make a drag queen swoon; add aforementioned sparkles; remove J. Crew duds

Step 4: Recruit your fellow princesses to ensure you don't breathe for 5 hours

Step 5: Befriend a tree

Step 6: Find your Prince Charming and dance your ass off for 4 hours

Step 7: Work it with all the princesses in your castle...

..Annnnd a gorgeous groom!

This was some of the most fun I've had in a long time. I highly recommend Disney-fying yourself for your next big event. I hope these 7 steps encourage even the most reluctant maiden. Just think: you don't even need to trade your voice for legs! Okay, all you Disney enthusiasts...I know, I know. I committed a Disney felony: Wrong princess - right sentiment!