Why I Fell in Love with Evolutionary Psychology

One day, back in the fall 2008 semester, I was a scared doctoral student needing funding and a sense of belongingness. An opportunity came through to the Ed Psych department recruiting a few last minute Teaching Assistants for the Psychology department, and for whatever reason, I was one of their choices. I was assigned the Psychology of Sex with Dr. Devendra Singh. I anticipated two things immediately: 1) I would have a terrible time managing my maturity during this course and 2) I was going to have to learn the content faster than undergrads who were very likely more intelligent, more motivated, and more familiar with the subject matter than I. Double eek!

I met Dr. Singh a few days before our class was to begin. He basically told me to consult past TAs, since they had all of the information. Apparently, TAing for Dr. Singh was an institution, of sorts. There was an entire file on Webspace dedicated to old tests and handouts we would both use and criticize. The answers to the test questions were often incorrect, so I would have to take the test myself (a 50 question multiple choice test with 2 short answer questions) and then match my responses to the test bank. It was a hot mess for many reasons (most of them surrounding my unfamiliarity with the content), and I'll leave it at that.

What wasn't a hot mess was everything else. Dr. Singh's health had been on the decline for some time, and in between classes, his loving wife or daughter would assist with his dialysis in his office. I have a difficult time lecturing with a runny nose, so I can only imagine the strength and passion this man possessed to wake up every morning and teach two college classes twice a week. My dad would recount lectures from his days at Yale from a certain architecture professor whose courses he took simply because the material became enchanted when delivered from this professor. After attending a few days of Dr. Singh's course, this is how I felt.

It certainly helped that he wrote half of the articles we read and was featured in the majority of the TLC video specials we watched on X topic. Dr. Singh was a pioneer in evolutionary psychology and I feel so incredibly blessed to have worked with him so closely. His philosophy on life is riveting, and one of my fondest memories of our time together occurred during a lazy summer afternoon. I had been singing Homeslice Pizza's praise all spring semester and kept promising him that we would dine on this magical concoction one day. I quizzed him on his favorite pizza toppings and set out to pick us up some of Austin's finest.

When I arrived at his house, Dr. Singh's lovely wife made me some delicious tea and we began to feast. In the way that sagacious men do, Dr. Singh began pontificating on his worldview. Here are a few of the gems he bestowed upon me that afternoon:

Approach life with curiosity, not fear. Which of those is driving your life? Your decisions will be contingent upon this approach.

Engage in realistic optimism. Mindfully, be more forgiving about the past and more optimistic about the future. Allow this optimism to serve you in a way that allows space to hope for the best outcomes and cushion yourself gently when things do not work out.

Dwell on the positive. (I love this one). We are so prone to replay the pieces of our life with which we are dissatisfied. Recall 4-5 episodes for which you are grateful and savor them.

It's not fear of the unknown; it's fear of the known that stops us from achieving our goals, wishes, and dreams. We know what hurt feels like, but sometimes that familiarity is comfortable to us and we would rather stay in that place, no matter how uncomfortable. What if we achieve love, joy, satisfaction, fulfillment? What then? What's left to wish for?

Dr. Dev Singh, you are so incredibly loved, respected, admired, and revered by so many. You will live on in our memories and hearts. Rest in peace.

Check out Dr. Singh's faculty bio here: http://www.psy.utexas.edu/psy/faculty/singh/singh.html

Dr. Singh's beautiful obituary: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/statesman/obituary.aspx?n=devendra-singh&pid=142979474

An Ode to Vicodin

Ouch, just plain ouch! For those of you who don't know, I am on Day One of surgery recovery. I have a really fun girl condition called endometriosis, which basically means that once/month it feels like someone takes a small dagger and stabs my insides repeatedly for 15 second intervals. Let's just say that I have that lamaze thing down pat!

I was rather nervous the day of surgery since the only other experience I've had with being sliced open was a recent wisdom teeth removal. I had a few friends who shared their experiences with me for the laparoscopy (lap) and hysteroscopy (hyst), and most of them recounted much easier recovery and surgical experiences than those of my friends who disclosed their wisdom teeth horrors. Though the pre-op procedures for the lap/hyst were MUCH scarier (think hospital setting, hospital gown, disposable pants, footies, and hair net) and kind of weird (I had the iv in and they wheeled me into the OR. I had to walk from one bed to the operating table and sit on it!)-very strange!! Bobby said I looked like a blue cafeteria lady. In retrospect, I should have posed in my Smurf-like sartorial splendor.

Kind of like him:

Bobby graciously took the day off of work to be my chauffeur and nurse. I have neglected to mention that Bobby also fasted with me in solidarity and also took some rather icky medicine which makes you...well, you know...he did that, too! His loyalty knows no bounds!

Right before the surgery, I was starting to freak out. Bobby brought the laptop over (yes, Matilda was there too!) and presented the website http://kittenwar.com/ and we voted on the cutest kittens! He also read me highlights from http://www.fmylife.com/ . Before long, I was definitely giggling.

I clearly don't remember much after that. I woke up in the recovery room and had a tough time staying awake. Here's where the fun begins! I felt like I was pregnant and floating on a cloud. Part of the surgery requires that your insides be filled with gas so the doctors can better access your organs. Specifically, they filled up my uterus so I looked like I was in my second trimester. I still kind of do. :)

The anesthesia and percocet combination left me incredibly itchy. I sort of felt like a crack addict. Listen up, crackheads-I found a cure for us! Go to Bath and Bodyworks and invest in some Rosemary Mint lotion. It is so soothing. I can't help with the addicted to crack part, but at least you won't itch anymore!!

I have two small incisions on my tummy (one on my bellybutton and one below it), but because I pierced my bellybutton in high school, I don't even think the bellybutton scar will be visible underneath the little hole I already have in my tummy! That was so smart on my part! I knew it would pay off! :) The heating pad has become my best friend, and because cats love warmth, it has also become my cat's best friend. Tabitha is having a hard time understanding why I won't let her lay on my tummy right now. In defiance, she is taking the liberty of sampling any unguarded beverages/plants in my house. Although the title of this blog entry is "An Ode to Vicodin" I actually quite disappointed with my pain meds. I wish they sent me home with an iv of anesthesia instead! I digress...

It's no secret that I have wonderful people in my life. I took a pic of my loot, so far. If you plan on getting sick or having surgery, i highly recommend befriending some of my friends. :)

And one of our favorite visitors, Sky's boyfriend. They even got matching haircuts!!