All She Wants To Do Is Dance: Why I Fell in Love with Evolutionary Psychology

One day, back in the fall 2008 semester, I was a scared doctoral student needing funding and a sense of belongingness. An opportunity came through to the Ed Psych department recruiting a few last minute Teaching Assistants for the Psychology department, and for whatever reason, I was one of their choices. I was assigned the Psychology of Sex with Dr. Devendra Singh. I anticipated two things immediately: 1) I would have a terrible time managing my maturity during this course and 2) I was going to have to learn the content faster than undergrads who were very likely more intelligent, more motivated, and more familiar with the subject matter than I. Double eek!

I met Dr. Singh a few days before our class was to begin. He basically told me to consult past TAs, since they had all of the information. Apparently, TAing for Dr. Singh was an institution, of sorts. There was an entire file on Webspace dedicated to old tests and handouts we would both use and criticize. The answers to the test questions were often incorrect, so I would have to take the test myself (a 50 question multiple choice test with 2 short answer questions) and then match my responses to the test bank. It was a hot mess for many reasons (most of them surrounding my unfamiliarity with the content), and I'll leave it at that.

What wasn't a hot mess was everything else. Dr. Singh's health had been on the decline for some time, and in between classes, his loving wife or daughter would assist with his dialysis in his office. I have a difficult time lecturing with a runny nose, so I can only imagine the strength and passion this man possessed to wake up every morning and teach two college classes twice a week. My dad would recount lectures from his days at Yale from a certain architecture professor whose courses he took simply because the material became enchanted when delivered from this professor. After attending a few days of Dr. Singh's course, this is how I felt.

It certainly helped that he wrote half of the articles we read and was featured in the majority of the TLC video specials we watched on X topic. Dr. Singh was a pioneer in evolutionary psychology and I feel so incredibly blessed to have worked with him so closely. His philosophy on life is riveting, and one of my fondest memories of our time together occurred during a lazy summer afternoon. I had been singing Homeslice Pizza's praise all spring semester and kept promising him that we would dine on this magical concoction one day. I quizzed him on his favorite pizza toppings and set out to pick us up some of Austin's finest.

When I arrived at his house, Dr. Singh's lovely wife made me some delicious tea and we began to feast. In the way that sagacious men do, Dr. Singh began pontificating on his worldview. Here are a few of the gems he bestowed upon me that afternoon:

Approach life with curiosity, not fear. Which of those is driving your life? Your decisions will be contingent upon this approach.

Engage in realistic optimism. Mindfully, be more forgiving about the past and more optimistic about the future. Allow this optimism to serve you in a way that allows space to hope for the best outcomes and cushion yourself gently when things do not work out.

Dwell on the positive. (I love this one). We are so prone to replay the pieces of our life with which we are dissatisfied. Recall 4-5 episodes for which you are grateful and savor them.

It's not fear of the unknown; it's fear of the known that stops us from achieving our goals, wishes, and dreams. We know what hurt feels like, but sometimes that familiarity is comfortable to us and we would rather stay in that place, no matter how uncomfortable. What if we achieve love, joy, satisfaction, fulfillment? What then? What's left to wish for?

Dr. Dev Singh, you are so incredibly loved, respected, admired, and revered by so many. You will live on in our memories and hearts. Rest in peace.