My Life As a Dog...Owner, Part Deux

Remember when I owned a dog again? Me neither.

Rufus Wagwright (nee Tony) has been returned to his owner who was very grateful to have him. The owner who is apparently sweet to him and doesn't do any of the things he was purported to do by some huge rando guy the owner doesn't know. What a weird situation.

In some ways, I am happy about this. Okay, in almost all ways. Tony is incredibly energetic and was starting to stress me out! I liken the experience to any time I get all baby/dog crazy...borrow someone else's for a day. After a good 24 hours of putting up with someone else's ____ without that maternal (paternal for the fellas) instinct that activates when you wonder why you reproduced/adopted in the first place and reminds you that ___ is yours= GOOD birth control.

I admit that with an entity relying upon me for life, I was getting a little anxious and feeling a little less free. Maybe I am too selfish to be a mom? Do some moms wonder this too? Maybe I should have gotten knocked up before I became all self-aware. Wow - this blog got all free associated in a hurry. Thanks, Freud. Back to the thing that's funny...

The good news is that Tony is home with his rightful owner. Bryan (my roommate) stopped by to talk to his owner and orchestrated the exchange once he got the "he is not a psycho dog beater" nod of approval. The owner was SO grateful for our (read: my) good care of Tony (he got a freaking bath yesterday, 20 minutes of fetch, a martini pedi/mani/facial/massage) that he offered to reward us. With cash. Because Bryan is gainfully employed, he denied the offer. If it were me in Bryan's shoes, I would have already replaced my lost APA Manual. Just sayin'.

Instead of money, the owner suggested we visit his place of employment - VIP access, free everything!

"Awesome, Bryan! Where is it?"

"The Yellow Rose"

"Like the place where girls dance nakies?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

As my sister's boyfriend noted, no good deed goes unpunished.

Moral of the story: If you want VIP access to a strip club, save (steal) someone else's dog and then pretend you are the hero for rescuing it from its happy life for no reason.