I am finding vacation difficult because I have this innate drive to be productive and multitask my life away, so this couch sitting, trashy tv watching, online (window) shopping is getting old in a hurry. As such, I have decided that I should attend to my blog as a means of feigning productivity. Hello, blog.
Since I am a big fan of "the list", I am going to pay homage to 2010 with a series of them. A list of lists. A meta-list. Not to be confused with the Mentalist. Perhaps to be combined with being mental. Or metal.
I am going to reflect on this year with my 5 most embarrassing moments. No one really wants to hear about accomplishments anymore-those are lame and commonplace. I mean, EVERYONE wins the Boston Marathon at some point in their lives.
In no particular order:
1. Falling flat on my face in the middle of an airport after neglecting to realize that the people mover stopped moving this person
2. Accidentally calling my boyfriend's dad a pervert. In Spanish.
3. Falling multiple times in several soccer games-completely unprovoked by person or sports equipment
4. Hired as a "curriculum expert" with fancy degrees and half-degrees-first day on the job (and much to my IT boyfriend's chagrin) I lock myself out of the computer and network twice. I also fail a handful of HR quizzes. Oops.
5. The Homeslice Incident. I don't think I can properly report on this-just know it was BAD. And gross.
Here's a top 3 list of my moments of disbelief:
1. Student answering her cell phone in my class. I clearly cannot get over this.
1.5 Holding 1/4th of a boa constrictor. Holyfreakingcrap.
2. Witnessing a bird eating an apple whole
Giant, prehistoric bird jumping 2 feet in the air to ingest a whole apple
3. Having an entire vodka cranberry drink dumped on me in a game of air basketball at a club in Ft. Lauderdale. This was surprising because a) I wasn't playing the game; b) I wasn't aware of the game as I was dancing up a storm to Beyonce; c) my sweet little cousin Alyssa (WHO IS PHOTOGRAPHED IN THE BOA PIC) did it. She was thoroughly embarrassed. I thought it was hilarious.
Favorite internet finds of 2010 (oft with help of friends):
I don't think this blog can be any more random-this is what happens when my thought patterns aren't guided by Bill Powers. Save me from myself!
An aside on this arbitrary rant-this is the weirdest time of year: the manic rush of holiday cheer and the post-Christmas denouement. It feels like 24 five year olds had an arts and crafts party and all that's left are the remnants of glitter, empty glue sticks, and paper scraps. Trying to find motivation somewhere buried in the discarded sequins.
**This blog was typed with the help of one Tabitha Cameron Martinez. Rather, this blog was nearly deleted by TCM as she draped herself across my laptop at an inopportune time.
Photo taken pre-attempted blog assassination
I think I'm going to need to hear about the Homeslice Incident
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