Sweet Skylar (6-7-03 to 10-23-10)

I have dedicated so many posts to this pup-she might have been my most popular blog topic. Some time around 9:00 this morning, we lost her. I had my hand pressed against her chest and felt her heartbeat slowly fade away. It was...well, I can't even think of a word to describe the experience. I will say that I feel grateful that I was here with her when she passed. Bobby and I were both on the floor with her petting her.

Her passing was both expected and not. I knew she had been fighting a brain tumor for over a year, so when she defied the 3-4 month life span she was given upon initial diagnosis, I felt that she might be invincible.

Because I don't have children, Skylar is all I have ever known in that capacity. I/we faithfully gave her medicine twice a day, fed her, bathed her, pet her, walked her, etc. I know I gave her a good life, but I am still left feeling guilty. When I came home from school yesterday, I told myself I would walk her. I never got around to it because I started working on other projects. I really wish I had taken the 10 minutes out to go on what would have been our final walk together.

I want to thank so many of you who have been great friends to Skylar, humans and animals alike. You have brought joy, laughter and friendship to us both. I still remember how Danielle's dog Ashes tricked Skylar out of her bedroom so she could tip over her entire food container and eat a month's worth of food. I remember how Katie's dog Gomez literally supported Skylar on a walk around Town Lake after she was recovering from anesthesia. Skylar was wobbling on the trail and Gomez walked right next to her, making sure she didn't fall. I remember Elric's dog Ladybird and how my dog would ignore all of the dogs all the dog park unless she happened to see Bird. They would both wags their tails furiously at each other. Then, Skylar would go back to ignoring all other dogs. I remember the good times with Ashley's dog Colby and how Colby showed Skylar how to sunbathe. I remember Davy coming to visit and our trip to Amy's ice cream with Sky where Skylar's whipped cream consumption surpassed my own. She kept licking her nose in hopes that another bit would appear if she licked long enough. I remember the first day Skylar met Bobby and when he bent down to say hi to him, she licked his cheek. Most dogs are fairly liberal in their kisses, but Sky would never kiss anyone but me. I knew then that Bobby was special.

Skylar was always the first to greet me when I walked in the door. I would see her standing near the window and she would be looking for me. When I came home, she would sit in front of me, demanding for me to get close enough to her so she could understand my day through the new and previously classified smells I acquired. When she was still alive, I would try to imagine life without her. I felt it would be a good exercise because I knew her time was limited. Today was the first day I came home and she didn't greet me. I knew she wouldn't be here because I was returning from the vet. I just didn't realize how impactful it would be to enter a house where she is no longer.

The house seems quiet now. There aren't any paws tapping against the hardwood planks. They say that time heals all, and I suppose it does. She was my first dog outside of family dogs we've owned. Skylar enriched my life is ways that I never even imagined. She was my constant companion through some of the more challenging times in my life. I will miss her beyond describable emotions. Loss is never easy, but I am having a particularly difficult time with it. A friend sent along this poem and I found it very comforting.

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...

– Author unknown